JOKE OF THE DAYFunny Valentines Day jokes - the only one
In the shop: - Do you have heart shaped Valentines card with words: "For my favorite, loved and the only one" - Yes, we have! - Could you please give me six of them! More similar jokes on page Valentines Day jokes. Share this joke with your friends!
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Funny Christmas jokes - Office party
Do not to judge those who drink alone with themselves. Maybe it is an entrepreneur, working with individual performance certificate, at his company Christmas party. Funny Christmas jokes - Dragon Santa Claus: So, what do you want for Christmas this year? Guy: I want a dragon Santa Claus: C‘mon, be realistic Guy: Ok, I want L.A. Lakers to win NBA league Santa Claus: Hmmm, what color dragon do you want? Christmas jokes – reality When you’ll be going to your company‘s Christmas celebration remember – you will have to work with these people further on. Christmas gifts A guy tells his friend: - During the Christmas I have left a gift for my girlfriend underneath the Chrsitmas-tree - And... how did she liked it? - Don't know yet. She's still looking for it as the forest is big, there are many Christmas-trees there... Funny Christmas jokes - present Two Americans talk: - Do you know what that Mexican guy will give as a Christmas gift for his kid? - No. What? - Your bike. Funny Valentines Day jokes - two types Girls are two types - the ones, who hate February 14th, and the ones, who have a boyfriend. Funny Valentines Day jokes - Saint Valentine Saint Valentine is the guardian of the salespeople of cosmetics, perfume, underwear and chocolate. Funny Valentines Day jokes - 14th of February The best confession you may make on 14th of February: Darling, I love you more than Donal Trump loves China. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDrfE9I8_hs Funny Marriage joke - I’ve heard you have married? - Yes. - And? - I’m not allowed to drink and smoke. - Do you regret? - No. I’m not allowed to Funny daily life jokes What is the difference between people, who pray in a church compared to those, who pray in the casino? The ones in the casino do it more sincerely. Funny relationship jokes - wonderful wife Single guys often dream of having a wise, beautiful and caring wife. But married guys think about it even more often. Adult jokes - in a bus Conversation in a bus: - You know, yesterday in a bus your wife told me such a great joke that I almost fell out of the bed. Profession jokes - executioner An interview with an executioner: - So, how long have you been working in this job? - Well, around 10 years… - And how are you doing there? - Well... no one complained so far Daily life jokes - Boy, do you pray before you eat? - No, why should I - my mom is a good cook. Jokes about dating - magazine The announcement in a magazine: in the next issue we will be writing about to make your boyfriend a little nervous with the help of a marker and a pregnancy test. Daily life situations - in the cafe - Waiter, there’s a bee in my soup! - Yes sir, the fly has a day-off Profession joke - A priest A priest tells the prayers: - We have one good news and one – bad ones. The good thing is that we have money for the repair of the church. The bad one – the money are still in your pockets. In a shop: - Give me a roll of toilet paper. - What color would you like? - White please, I will color it myself… - Hi, John! I have heard that you died three times already! - Hmm, but you’re no better – you haven’t come to any of my funerals. Could you fax over a copy? No, I can‘t fax because of where I live. Where do you live? The 21st century. Get a life - I’ve heard they’re cheap now on eBay Thanks to Blaine Zernechel April fool’s day If there are hopeless fools, then there should also be fools, which give hope. As experience shows, it's easier to fool somebody on a regular day, rather than on April 1st. Question: can a joke, played on April 1st, become a present for the New Year? Answer: yes, as there's exactly 9 months period Valentines Day The best thing of being my own date for Valentine's Day is knowing I'm guaranteed to score. Christmas gift Dear Santa, Please do not leave my gift under the Christmas tree. Drive it straight into the garage. Christmas tree - I left my girlfriend a Christmas gift under the Christmas tree. - Is she happy? -Not yet, still looking for it. The forest is large, lots of trees... Santa Claus Santa Claus comes to a psychiatrist and says: - Doctor, please help me, I do not believe in myself! The most scary thing about Halloween is that shops have already started selling Christmas goods. Check out what are other great Funny Halloween jokes After the Christmas Do you know what I got for Christmas? Fat. I got fat. Sorry I can‘t go out tonight I‘m too busy being fat. Hope you had a better Monday than George Clooney's unmarried exes. Find more at Funny quotes |
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State official: there are a lot of numbers in this document. Clearly it must be a budget.
More similar jokes at Business jokes
Funny jokes - Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris e-mail: [email protected]
Thanks Alexey Chernish for this great joke!
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't so foolish to attack him.
Funny jokes - Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was found dead in hotel room this morning... but he is currently recovering.
Funny jokes - Gentlemen
What a real gentleman should do after a great dinner with a pretty lady?
Help her burn the calories.
More similar jokes at Business jokes
Funny jokes - Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris e-mail: [email protected]
Thanks Alexey Chernish for this great joke!
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't so foolish to attack him.
Funny jokes - Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was found dead in hotel room this morning... but he is currently recovering.
Funny jokes - Gentlemen
What a real gentleman should do after a great dinner with a pretty lady?
Help her burn the calories.
Jokes about IT - Gay
I was in a conference last week and I think the presenter was a gay. No, not because of his colorful clothes, way of speaking, waving hands laughing habits or because he was French.. He simply had a Mac.
Funny jokes about marriage
In a marriage ceremony:
- Do you agree to take this woman as your wife?
- No
- What about this one then?
Dirty joke about men
Why do men name their penises?
Because the do not want a stranger to make 95 percent of their decisions.
Get more similar funny jokes in section Funny jokes for adults
Funny joke about men and women
I never could bring a woman into my house. At first, because of the parents. Later, because of the wife.
Get more similar funny jokes in section Funny jokes about men
Jokes about women - Instagram
Instagram - it's a place where we need to register our moms, cause only they wonder how we are dressed and what we ate.
Get more similar funny jokes in section Jokes about women and Jokes about IT
Funny business jokes - Value of money
A elderly man remembers the good old days: “when I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras.
Get more similar funny jokes in section Business jokes
Political jokes - Civil servants
It is NOT true that all of the servants in the Government are dishonest. We have to admit, there are incompetent ones as well.
Looking for similar funny jokes? Check section Political jokes
Jokes about IT - Gay
I was in a conference last week and I think the presenter was a gay. No, not because of his colorful clothes, way of speaking, waving hands laughing habits or because he was French.. He simply had a Mac.
Similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT
Funny jokes - Red Bull
Cow farmer Natalie has drunk 10 cans of RED BULL and... milked the cow to death...
Find similar funny jokes: Animal jokes
Similarities between a prostitute and bungee jumping:
1. You stand quite similar.
2. The time is also quite similar.
3. If the rubber breaks – you’re dead.
More similar funny jokes: Adult jokes
Q: What can be worse than a little stone in your shoe? A: Sand in your condom.
More similar funny jokes: Adult jokes
I was in a conference last week and I think the presenter was a gay. No, not because of his colorful clothes, way of speaking, waving hands laughing habits or because he was French.. He simply had a Mac.
Funny jokes about marriage
In a marriage ceremony:
- Do you agree to take this woman as your wife?
- No
- What about this one then?
Dirty joke about men
Why do men name their penises?
Because the do not want a stranger to make 95 percent of their decisions.
Get more similar funny jokes in section Funny jokes for adults
Funny joke about men and women
I never could bring a woman into my house. At first, because of the parents. Later, because of the wife.
Get more similar funny jokes in section Funny jokes about men
Jokes about women - Instagram
Instagram - it's a place where we need to register our moms, cause only they wonder how we are dressed and what we ate.
Get more similar funny jokes in section Jokes about women and Jokes about IT
Funny business jokes - Value of money
A elderly man remembers the good old days: “when I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras.
Get more similar funny jokes in section Business jokes
Political jokes - Civil servants
It is NOT true that all of the servants in the Government are dishonest. We have to admit, there are incompetent ones as well.
Looking for similar funny jokes? Check section Political jokes
Jokes about IT - Gay
I was in a conference last week and I think the presenter was a gay. No, not because of his colorful clothes, way of speaking, waving hands laughing habits or because he was French.. He simply had a Mac.
Similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT
Funny jokes - Red Bull
Cow farmer Natalie has drunk 10 cans of RED BULL and... milked the cow to death...
Find similar funny jokes: Animal jokes
Similarities between a prostitute and bungee jumping:
1. You stand quite similar.
2. The time is also quite similar.
3. If the rubber breaks – you’re dead.
More similar funny jokes: Adult jokes
Q: What can be worse than a little stone in your shoe? A: Sand in your condom.
More similar funny jokes: Adult jokes
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A collection of congratulations wishes for various occasions
"I wish you to have fun as much as you can, but remember, that you are in a vulnerable age" Joke of the day from "Funny jokes quotes"Visit our site on a daily basis to find a new joke of the day. Every day we publish a new joke of the day which you can freely copy and use it for your own purposes - tell it to your friends, publish on Facebook, Google+ or other social network. Feel free to use any of the anecdote, published on our site. We don't limit the usage of it for your purposes. We are aimed at gathering the best jokes from the folks - from the U.S. and Europe, to Asia, Africa and Australia. We say 'no borders for jokes'!
Joke of the day is constantly a new joke and we try it to be as funny as we can find or think of. Beneath the joke of the day you will find links to similar funny jokes. Follow the links beneath the jokes or on the left side of the page to navigate comfortably between the categories of funny jokes to find something that would cheer you up. We also encourage you to send us your jokes - feel free to share top jokes that you have heard. We will evaluate and if everything is find - will definitely publish it on our site as joke of the day or in another category. We will definitely say a thank you for your funny joke, if you leave you indicate your name. To send your funny joke, follow this link. |
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Funny Jokes & Quotes is the website of funny stuff - jokes, anecdotes, sayings, proverbs, quotes and much more. We are enthusiasts of jokes and funny stories.
We aim to offer you as many funny jokes as possible. For your convenience we categorize the funny stuff in different sections - please see the left menu to navigate in the website and read the anecdotes and sayings about the topic, which matters to you the most.
Disclaimer: our website includes various funny jokes - we aim to gather as wide folklore of anecdotes, as possible. And as you know, there are jokes about nations, religions, rases. And this is a part of fun folklore as well. We take no responsibility for the folklore and the views in it, but we express and fully support the equal rights for everyone, regardless of their political views, rases, sexual orientation, religion, etc.
If you have any questions or requests, you can get in touch with us through the contact form.
Funny Jokes & Quotes is the website of funny stuff - jokes, anecdotes, sayings, proverbs, quotes and much more. We are enthusiasts of jokes and funny stories.
We aim to offer you as many funny jokes as possible. For your convenience we categorize the funny stuff in different sections - please see the left menu to navigate in the website and read the anecdotes and sayings about the topic, which matters to you the most.
Disclaimer: our website includes various funny jokes - we aim to gather as wide folklore of anecdotes, as possible. And as you know, there are jokes about nations, religions, rases. And this is a part of fun folklore as well. We take no responsibility for the folklore and the views in it, but we express and fully support the equal rights for everyone, regardless of their political views, rases, sexual orientation, religion, etc.
If you have any questions or requests, you can get in touch with us through the contact form.
