FUNNY TWEETS OF CELEBRITIES, FAMOUS PEOPLE

Funny quotes and sayings of celebrities and famous people on Twitter.

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Why is the pope(@Pontifex) now on twitter? Because twitter is 6 years old!!!
Eric Santos

If I had a 3D printer the first thing I would print would be a 3D printer.
Eric Santos

A lot of emotions right now. congrats President Obama...Im Canadian. Im good.
Justin Bieber after B. Obama winning 2nd term.

Shit; trapped in office building with terrorists and ex wife.
Bruce Willis

It's cold here. no problem. Im Canadian. 
Justin Bieber

Just destroyed a shark in a one on one cage match; fuck you
Bruce Willis

Watch my speech at the @Sustainia_me Awards. I had a sore throat, so I sound a little like the Terminator.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

In the near future we'll only be able to communicate through devices. Actual human contact will be outlawed by the Apple iCourt.
Jim Carrey 

I need to sleep, but oh wait, I have twitter, nvm.
Sean strickland

Why did the voter go to the strip club? He was looking for his polling station.
Ellen DeGeneres 

Now that the election's over, we should get commercial free TV for at least 3 months.
Ryan Seacrest

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.Jenna Marbles

Please don't try to talk to me this weekend in vegas. i'm counting cards.
Daniel Tosh 

Where's my phone? Has anyone seen my phone? Oh... I'm tweeting on it! Nevermind! ;^}
Jim Carrey

Why did the conservative cockatoo fly in circles? He was too right wing.
Ellen DeGeneres

Good morning. I awoke to find myself still alive, which is a comparatively great start to the day.
Jonathan Ross

You're too good for you
Rihanna  

For the record, my dogs don't eat Caesar salad. They prefer a Waldorf salad.
Ellen DeGeneres

Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever! ?;^}
Jim Carrey

When the memories hit you...it fucking hurts
Sean strickland

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
Jenna Marbles

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
Jenna Marbles

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