FUNNY SEX JOKES
Funny sex jokes - Triple
A husband returns home and finds his wife with two white guys and one black. She asks her husband:
-Honey, why are you so angry, I didn’t think you’re a racist.
Funny sex jokes - Brazilian style
In the evening in bed a man approaches his wife. She tries to get away, complaining having a headache. A man asks:
- Darling, maybe let’s do IT the Brazilian style?
Wife gets interested: ok!
The husband does IT the same way as always, and after sex turns away and is about to fall asleep.
- Honey, and what’s Brazilian about this?
- Oh, really… Cha-cha-cha!
Funny sex jokes - The ninth child
When Ms. James has given birth for the ninth child, the doctor invited her husband and told him:
- Sir, next time when you will want IT very much, please think whether you’ll be able to support all you family.
- Doc, when I really want IT, I think that I could support whole North Carolina State.
Funny sex jokes - Husband
Two ladies talk:
- Yesterday when I was feeling so depressed my husband came up to me and started to console me as much as he could. And he could twice.
Funny sex jokes - Way out
There is no situation without a way out. A quote from a Kamasutra book.
Sex jokes - Anniversary
A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary:
- Darling, have you been unfaithful to me?
- Yes, honey, three times.
- When was the first time?
- Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you.
- Thanks, darling. And when was the second time?
- Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you? And finally the head of the department took care of you?
- Thank you darling, you saved my life. And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time?
- Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?
Funny sex jokes - 6 year old
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy:
- Daddy, where did I come from to this life?
- You were brought by a stork.
- That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
Funny sex jokes - Angelina Jolie
In Angelina Jolie's home the question "Where do babies come from" is most often asked by Brad Pitt...
Funny sex jokes - sms
If you got bored, text the message "I am pregnant" to a random mobile number.
Funny sex jokes - sex partners
A doctor asks a patient while examining her:
- How many sex partners did you have?
- 5 or 6, don't remember exactly..
- Hmm, not that many...
- Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend...
Funny sex jokes - whistle
- Doc, every time after sex I hear whistle.
- What's your age?
- You know, this is very natural. It would strange if you heard applause...
Funny sex jokes - Girlfriend
My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
Funny sex jokes - Doggy style
Doggy style (noun)
A sexual position which allows both participants to watch TV.
Funny sex jokes - Condom
- Dad, what happens if a condom tear?
- Look at yourself...
Funny sex jokes - Beer belly
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks:
- Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg?
- There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
Funny sex jokes - Every woman is on sale
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat.
- So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself?
- Me too?
- Of course.
- And how much do you think I would cost?
- 500 francs.
- What?! Only 500 francs?!
- Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
Funny sex jokes - Comparison
Sex is like a motor racing - the most important thing is not to save money for bes quality rubber.
Funny adult jokes - Without condoms
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
Funny adult jokes - Unexpected
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
Funny adult jokes - Cigarette
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Funny adult jokes - Good question
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband:
- Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks...
- And what the dentist said?
CHECK WHAT IS A JOKE OF THE DAY TODAY!
For more jokes about sex and making love, please visit others joke categories: