FUNNY SCHOOL AND STUDENT JOKES

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Funny jokes about school kids - At home
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid:
- Is your mom at home?
- Nope, she’s not here,- says the naughty kid, quite scared.
- And your father?
- No, he has hidden away as well..


Funny school and student jokes - Quantum physics
Two students talk:
- What are you reading?
- Quantum physics theory book.
- but why are you reading it upside-down?
- It makes no difference anyway.


Funny school and student jokes - The first of September
The first of September, first lesson. Teacher:
- Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand.
Peter immediately raises his hand.
- You want to ask something?
- No. Just checking how the system works.


Funny school and student jokes - Music talent
Music teacher tells Peter:
- I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music.


Funny school and student jokes - swear-words
Little Johnny returns from school and says:
- Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!
- But I hope you are not writing them, my son.
- No, I'm dictating them!


Funny school and student jokes - Yawning
During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide.
Teacher tries to make a joke:
- Johnny, don't swallow me.
He replies:
- Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork.


Funny school and student jokes - Stupid
The teacher asks the children:
- Every who thinks he is stupid, please stand up.
After a while Peter stands up and the teacher asks:
- Peter why you stood up?
- Well you know, teacher, for me became deeply ashamed, when you're standing itself alone...


Funny school and student jokes - Lion and a teacher
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?
Student: I'd climb a tree.
Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree?
Student: I will jump in the lake and swim.
Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you?
Student: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?


Funny school and student jokes - Mathematics
Teacher: if you had one dollar and asked your father for one more dollar, how much would you have in total?
Student: One dollar.
Teacher: You don't know your maths.
Student: You don't know my dad!


Funny school and student jokes - Late
In school. Teacher:
- Johnny, why are you late again?
- But you have said that it's never too late to learn..


Funny school and student jokes - Hunger strike
- Have you heard that teachers went on hunger strike.
  - And what are they requesting for?
  - For food.


Funny school and student jokes - Poisoning
Student tells the doctor:
- Doctor, please help, I'm poisoning!
- How did it happen?
- We drank vodka at first, then wine, some beer, then I got poisoning from Biscuit...

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