FUNNY JOKES ABOUT NEW RUSSIANS
New Russian jokes - Small tiles
New Russian is showing his new home to his friend. They walk into the bath and the friend asks:
- And why the tiles are so small?
- Small, but good brand.
- And what brand it is?
New Russian jokes - Carpet
New Russian watches as Arab pollinates the carpet.
- So what, does not start?
New Russian jokes - Robbery
A new Russian decides to visit his home town. But when he drives in the town, the tire of his new Mercedes goes flat. He stops and decides to change it himself. He starts taking the wheel of while notices his friend from the school who became an alcoholic, has no teeth anymore... The guy approaches the new Russian and asks:
- Vadim, is that you?
- Yes it's me, hi Dimitrij.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm trying to take the wheel off.
Dimitrij takes a stone, throws it to the a window of the car and breaks it. And says:
- Good, you take the wheel and I will take care of the radio set...
New Russian jokes - Highway
A wife calls to her husband New Russian and shout over the phone:
- Are you on a highway?
- Yes I am.
- Then push on the brakes and drive to the roadside! Police reports over the radio that a maniac is going opposite the traffic.
- Darling, he is not one, but there hundreds of them here.
New Russian jokes - Comparison
A new Russian argues with a wife, who will be growing their son after the divorce. Wife:
- I’m his mother, so I will grow him!
- Wait, wait... Just think: there is a Coke vending machine, I drop in a coin and a can goes out. So whose can is it – mine of machine’s?
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