FUNNY MAY JOKES
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31 May 2013
The only positive thing in Anna's 17 years of life is... the pregnancy test. More similar funny jokes in category Adult jokes 30 May 2013 The latest study of men’s sleeping habits found that 5 percent of men wake up at night to pee, 8 percent get up to search the fridge and 60 percent get up to return home. More similar funny jokes in category Jokes about men, husband 29 May 2013 Triplets were born. Doctors are fighting for father's life. More similar funny jokes in category Jokes about men, husband 28 May 2013 Only 1% of people read the care label instructions to learn how to wash clothes and take care of them. The remaining 99% of people by the label determines where the front or back is. More similar interesting facts in section Funny facts 27 May 2013 A brunette, a redhead and a blonde met all in the same hospital room. All three were waiting to give a birth, when the brunette said to others: "I know that I'll have a baby girl, because I was on top of my husband when I got pregnant." The redhead replied: "So I'am going to have a boy, because my husband was on top during sex when I conceived." Suddenly the blonde started crying and said: "I think I'm going to have puppies!" More similar funny jokes in section: Blonde jokes and Funny sex jokes 26 May 2013 A man calls to police office: - Hi. Was that you who sent the patrols yesterday night to Fifth avenue, house number 5? - Yes, we have sent them because we received a complaint from your neighbours about enormous noise and loud music… - Please pass a message to the patrols that they should stop by our house tonight as well. They have left here their hats, handcuffs, the gun… And we will also watch the videos from yesterday – some of them are really cool ones… More similar funny jokes in section: Profession jokes 25 May 2013 - You look really nice! And where is that little deficiency, you wrote in your ad about? - At school, but will return home soon. More similar funny jokes in categories Relationship jokes and Jokes about dating 24 May 2013 One evening man was drinking at the local bar. He was ordering the drinks, but before every drink he was taking out the picture from his wallet and looked at it for the moment. "Old girlfirend?" curiously asked barman. "No," the man replied. Here is a picture of my mother-in-law. I know I've drunk too much, if she starts to look attractive for me. More similar funny jokes in Mother-in-law jokes 23 May 2013 We can identify three phases of sex during man's life: triweekly, try weekly and try weakly. More similar funny jokes in categories Funny sex jokes and Jokes about men 22 May 2013 Teacher to her pupils: - Tomorrow we will have a very important test. Your participation is obligatory. I won't accept excusing notes from your parents. You need an extremely serious reason not to take part in the test. Peter raises his hand and asks: - Teacher, will you accept complete sexual exhaustion as a sufficient reason? - No, Peter. You will be able to answer test questions with your left hand. More similar funny jokes in category: School and student jokes 21 May 2013 A lady makes a phone call to a drug store: - Excuse me, do you have pregnancy tests? - Yes we do. - Are the questions of the test difficult? More similar funny jokes in section: Daily life situations 20 May 2013 I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor. More similar jokes in category Funny sayings 19 May 2013 Chuck Norris never calls the wrong number, you answer the wrong telephone. More similar jokes in category Chuck Norris jokes 17 May 2013 Love - no matter you are drunk or sober, you always call the same person. More similar jokes in category Relationship, marriage jokes 16 May 2013 Office-girl tells her boss: I don't want to blackmail you, but if you don't increase my salary, I will start writing memoir. More similar jokes: Profession jokes 15 May 2013 Religion teacher gives a question to her students: - What is small, fluffy and says "meow"? Little Johnny stands up and says: - It should actually be a kitty, but since you are asking, I would say that's JESUS. More similar funny jokes: School and student jokes 14 May 2013 Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m. More similar jokes: One liner jokes 13 May 2013 Man should tell the last word in the family and it should sound like "Yes, my darling..." More jokes about men, husband 12 May 2013 etc. - end of thinking capacity. Similar sayings in section Funny sayings 11 May 2013 A war in Afghanistan. The soldiers of Soviet Union are in the gunfight against Arabian rebels. A voice from Russian trench shouts: - Alli! - Me!, - tells an Arab and stands up from the trench. Russians shoot. Straight to Alli’s head. Again the Russian voice: - Ahmed! - Me! – another Arab stands up. A shot again. One more Arab is dead. The rebels now got the tactics of the Russians and try to use it themselves: - Ivan! Dead silence. - Ivan!,- once again shout an Arab. Still silence… After a while a Russian shouts: - Who’s been calling Ivan? - Me! More similar funny jokes in section: nation jokes 10 May 2013 Two new friends talk: - Were you funny when you were a child? - You’re kidding, I am an accountant. More similar funny jokes in section Profession jokes 9 May 2013 A wife sends her husband - an IT programmer - to the shop to buy a sausage. - If there will be brown eggs, take 10. A programmer goes to the shop and asks the seller: - Do you have brown eggs? - Yes we do. - Then give me 10 sausages. More similar funny jokes in section Jokes about IT 8 May 2013 I am a woman. I don't know what the hell I want. But I can get mad, if I don't get it. More similar funny jokes in section Jokes about women 7 May 2013 The professor asks the student: - Tell me, what an exam is? - That is a conversation of two clever people - answers the student. - And what if one of them is an idiot? - Then the other one might stay without a scholarship. More jokes in section School & Student jokes 6 May 2013 In the store of sex Toys. - Please, tell me, when was this inflatable doll manufactured? - On the 12th of January last year. - Capricorn. Then it's incompatible with me. More jokes in section Funny sex jokes 5 May 2013 Bookstore customer asks the seller: - I am looking for the book "Men - the stronger sex" Seller: - Please look for it in the fiction section. More similar funny jokes: Jokes about man, husband 4 May 2013 Wife to her husband: "I told you I'll be back in five minutes, so why you are calling me every half an hour?" More similar funny jokes: Relationship, marriage jokes 3 May 2013 Two students talk: - What are you reading? - Quantum physics theory book. - And why are you reading it upside-down? - It makes no difference either way. More similar funny jokes: school & student jokes 2 May 2013 A successful man is the one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is the one who can find such a man. More similar funny jokes: Relationship, marriage jokes 1 May 2013 The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir: - You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here. - But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not. More similar funny jokes: Daily life situations FIND OUT PREVIOUS JOKES OF THE DAY: |
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