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CAR JOKES


Car jokes - Ad
An ad in a newspaper: I sell BWM. Crashed. Don’t call me before the accident.

Blondes about cars
Two blondes talk:
- Elizabeth, did you know that you O O O O car is actually called Audi?

Ford engineer
An engineer of Ford cars runs into the office of his boss:
- Eureka, I have finally made it! I have been working in electric vehicle project for so many years and now I came from New York with the electric vehicle!
- How much did it cost?
- 4000 $ - 1 $ for electricity and 3999$ for the cables..


Starting
It is quite easy to start an Opel car, but it takes time.

Why
Question: Why don’t the colleagues, who have FIAT cars, say ‘good morning’ to each other at work? 
Answer: Because they already said this at the service of cars..

Similarity
What is the similarity between a Ford car and a bathtub? You don’t want to get out of it while other people are watching…

Silent night
If you went to a garage at night in complete silence you would be able to hear how your OPEL car is corroding…
FIAT
What does an odometer of a FIAT car shows after running 100.000 miles? Game over.

Chevrolet
Why is Chevrolet an environmentally-friendly car? Because the engine never starts.

LADA's value
How to increase the value of a Russian LADA car by two times? Fill in the tank.

FIAT Service book
What is on the last page of a Service book of a FIAT car? The schedule of public transport bus service.

LADA's rear window
Why do Russian LADA cars have heated rear window? So that your hand’s didn’t get cold while pushing it.

Rust removal for OPEL
What would happen to an OPEL car if you used rust removal? It would disappear.

Know you car
You don‘t truly know your car until you know exactly how far you can go, after the gas gauge needle passes the E (Emtpy).

Difference - FIAT
What is the difference between a brothel and Fiat? 
- There is no. Both entering and leaving is a shame, but inside quite well.

Transformers
Why Transformers were filmed in the U.S. but not in Europe? 
- Because robots flatly refused to transform into "Fiat".
FIAT
What it means word FIAT? Fix It Again Tomorow

Drivers
Why are Fiat drivers like Corned Beef?
- They both come in cans.

Skoda & FIAT
What did the Skoda ask Fiat?
- So who's the heroe of the jokes now...

Difference
What's the difference between Fiat and tickets to U2 concert? 
You can change the U2 ticket...

Spare parts
How a driver gets spare parts for his Fiat?
Follows another one around, some parts will fall off anyway

Service manual
What is printed on the last pages of Fiat service manual?
Bus and Train timetables

Speed
How can your Fiat reach 60 miles per hour?
Push it off a cliff.

Parked
How do you call a Fiat parked on a downhill?
A miracle

Parked 2
How do you call 2 Fiats parked on a downhill?
Science fiction 

Oil change
When should driver do the first oil change on his Fiat?
When it gets to 50,000 miles or never.

Gadget
Have you seen the latest Fiat anti-theft gadget?
They enlarged the logo.

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Joke of the day
One-liner jokes
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