FUNNY JOKES ABOUT NATIONS, COUNTRIES, CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
Jokes about nations - Scottish
The Scottish army looks even more threatening when marching against a strong wind.
Funny jokes about nations - Chinese
A real Chinese has to make three things in his life: sneakers, jeans and iPhone.
Nation jokes - British
A ship is sinking. A British with a pipe in his mouth asks the captain:
- Sir, which of those boats are for smokers?
The Scottish army looks even more threatening when marching against a strong wind.
Funny jokes about nations - Chinese
A real Chinese has to make three things in his life: sneakers, jeans and iPhone.
Nation jokes - British
A ship is sinking. A British with a pipe in his mouth asks the captain:
- Sir, which of those boats are for smokers?
Nation jokes - Russian warning
A note on the package of Russian cigarettes: If your father sees it, he’ll kill you.
Jokes about nations - Gipsy
A gipsy comes to the cash desk, the cashier asks:
- What would you like to have?
- Don't worry, I have already taken what I needed
Funny jokes about nations - Gunfight
A war in Afghanistan. The soldiers of Soviet Union are in the gunfight against Arabian rebels. A voice from Russian trench shouts:
- Alli!
- Me!, - tells an Arab and stands up from the trench.
Russians shoot. Straight to Alli’s head.
Again the Russian voice:
- Ahmed!
- Me! – another Arab stands up.
A shot again. One more Arab is dead.
The rebels now got the tactics of the Russians and try to use it themselves:
- Ivan!
Dead silence.
- Ivan!,- once again shout an Arab.
Still silence… After a while a Russian shouts:
- Who’s been calling Ivan?
- Me!
A note on the package of Russian cigarettes: If your father sees it, he’ll kill you.
Jokes about nations - Gipsy
A gipsy comes to the cash desk, the cashier asks:
- What would you like to have?
- Don't worry, I have already taken what I needed
Funny jokes about nations - Gunfight
A war in Afghanistan. The soldiers of Soviet Union are in the gunfight against Arabian rebels. A voice from Russian trench shouts:
- Alli!
- Me!, - tells an Arab and stands up from the trench.
Russians shoot. Straight to Alli’s head.
Again the Russian voice:
- Ahmed!
- Me! – another Arab stands up.
A shot again. One more Arab is dead.
The rebels now got the tactics of the Russians and try to use it themselves:
- Ivan!
Dead silence.
- Ivan!,- once again shout an Arab.
Still silence… After a while a Russian shouts:
- Who’s been calling Ivan?
- Me!
Funny jokes about nations - God
God made every person different. He got tired by the time he got to China.
Funny jokes about nations - Made in China
How should it feel for Chinese tourists bringing home MADE IN CHINA souvenirs
from any country they visit...
Funny jokes about nations - Italian
Question: What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pockets?
Answer: Mute.
Funny jokes about nations - Italian men
Why do Italian men have mustaches? They want to look like their moms.
Funny jokes about nations - China
The Great Wall is among 7 wonders of the world because it is the only Chinese product which lasted for more than 4 weeks.
God made every person different. He got tired by the time he got to China.
Funny jokes about nations - Made in China
How should it feel for Chinese tourists bringing home MADE IN CHINA souvenirs
from any country they visit...
Funny jokes about nations - Italian
Question: What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pockets?
Answer: Mute.
Funny jokes about nations - Italian men
Why do Italian men have mustaches? They want to look like their moms.
Funny jokes about nations - China
The Great Wall is among 7 wonders of the world because it is the only Chinese product which lasted for more than 4 weeks.
Funny jokes about nations - Amsterdam
Amsterdam is like a Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
Funny jokes about nations - Electricity in Tallinn
Tallinn has lost electricity. Thousands of people for a few hours temporary were stuck on the escalators.
Funny jokes about nations - Tabor
Golden rule in Tabor: who gets up earlier, can dress better.
Funny jokes about nations - Temperature
A friend is making a phone call from London to his friend in Alaska:
- How are you, I have heard on news that the temperature there is -40...
- You must be kidding, it's not true, it's -10.
- But it was said in the news on TV, it's really -40.
- Oh, I see, I think they meant the temperature outdoors...
Amsterdam is like a Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
Funny jokes about nations - Electricity in Tallinn
Tallinn has lost electricity. Thousands of people for a few hours temporary were stuck on the escalators.
Funny jokes about nations - Tabor
Golden rule in Tabor: who gets up earlier, can dress better.
Funny jokes about nations - Temperature
A friend is making a phone call from London to his friend in Alaska:
- How are you, I have heard on news that the temperature there is -40...
- You must be kidding, it's not true, it's -10.
- But it was said in the news on TV, it's really -40.
- Oh, I see, I think they meant the temperature outdoors...
Funny jokes about nations - Slap in the face
A Russian, a German, a beautiful lady and a sister from church sit in one compartment of a train.
The train gets in to a tunnel and the compartment gets completely dark. Suddenly a sound of slap could be heard. The train gets from the tunnel and all travelers see the German with a palm on his face.
"He deserved it, - thought the sister, - He tried to touch the pretty lady and got a slap in the face".
"He deserved it, - thought the pretty lady, - he wanted approach me, but he touched the sister and she gave a slap in his face".
"Oh fuck!, - thought the German. - the Russian wanted to approach the pretty lady, but he was stupid and touched the sister, and the latter slapped in my face by accident".
The Russian meanwhile is sitting and thinking: "In the next tunnel I'll hit the German once again".
Funny jokes about nations - ferret
A king invited an American, a British and a Russian and said:
- The one, who will spend most time in a room with a ferret, will get half of my kingdom.
The American was the first to give it a try. He spent 1, 2, 5 minutes and went out. - I cannot stay there any longer, - he said.
Then a British went in. He spent 5, 10, 15 minutes and went out. - I can't stay any longer, - he admited.
Then the Russian went in. He spent there 1 hour, 2 hours, 5 hours. The ferret went out and said: I can't stay there any longer.
A Russian, a German, a beautiful lady and a sister from church sit in one compartment of a train.
The train gets in to a tunnel and the compartment gets completely dark. Suddenly a sound of slap could be heard. The train gets from the tunnel and all travelers see the German with a palm on his face.
"He deserved it, - thought the sister, - He tried to touch the pretty lady and got a slap in the face".
"He deserved it, - thought the pretty lady, - he wanted approach me, but he touched the sister and she gave a slap in his face".
"Oh fuck!, - thought the German. - the Russian wanted to approach the pretty lady, but he was stupid and touched the sister, and the latter slapped in my face by accident".
The Russian meanwhile is sitting and thinking: "In the next tunnel I'll hit the German once again".
Funny jokes about nations - ferret
A king invited an American, a British and a Russian and said:
- The one, who will spend most time in a room with a ferret, will get half of my kingdom.
The American was the first to give it a try. He spent 1, 2, 5 minutes and went out. - I cannot stay there any longer, - he said.
Then a British went in. He spent 5, 10, 15 minutes and went out. - I can't stay any longer, - he admited.
Then the Russian went in. He spent there 1 hour, 2 hours, 5 hours. The ferret went out and said: I can't stay there any longer.
Funny jokes about nations - Forum
American forum: you ask a question, and then they answer to you.
Israeli forum: you ask a question, and then they also ask a question to you.
Russian forum: you ask a question, and then they tell you for hours about what a bastard you are.
Funny jokes about nations - Turkish revolution
Why would Turkish people make a small revolution in their country? To take some
rest from Russian tourists.
Funny jokes about nations - Spanish name
During the international exhibition at Hotel Spaniard was accommodated next to
Swedish room and at the evening he took a bottle of wine and knocks to her
door:
- Who's there?
- Juan Fernando Emanuel di Silva.
- Come in, and please let the last one close the door.
Funny jokes about nations - Russian roads
Where asphalt ends, Russia begins.
Funny jokes about nations - German tourist in London
German tourists walk around London.
- Listen, Hans, do you know how they call this river?
- I have now idea, but in Köln they call it Rhein.
Q. What language does a Russian dog speak?
A. Ruffian.
Thanks to Bailey Smith
Q: What is one German on the moon?
A: a problem.
Q: What is two Germans on the moon?
A: Two problems.
Q: What are all the Germans on the moon?
A: Problem solved.
Thanks to Aurora van Lunteren
Difference between the east and the west - in the east, it’s all about the car you drive, in the west it’s about the ass you ride!!
Thanks to Harry
American forum: you ask a question, and then they answer to you.
Israeli forum: you ask a question, and then they also ask a question to you.
Russian forum: you ask a question, and then they tell you for hours about what a bastard you are.
Funny jokes about nations - Turkish revolution
Why would Turkish people make a small revolution in their country? To take some
rest from Russian tourists.
Funny jokes about nations - Spanish name
During the international exhibition at Hotel Spaniard was accommodated next to
Swedish room and at the evening he took a bottle of wine and knocks to her
door:
- Who's there?
- Juan Fernando Emanuel di Silva.
- Come in, and please let the last one close the door.
Funny jokes about nations - Russian roads
Where asphalt ends, Russia begins.
Funny jokes about nations - German tourist in London
German tourists walk around London.
- Listen, Hans, do you know how they call this river?
- I have now idea, but in Köln they call it Rhein.
Q. What language does a Russian dog speak?
A. Ruffian.
Thanks to Bailey Smith
Q: What is one German on the moon?
A: a problem.
Q: What is two Germans on the moon?
A: Two problems.
Q: What are all the Germans on the moon?
A: Problem solved.
Thanks to Aurora van Lunteren
Difference between the east and the west - in the east, it’s all about the car you drive, in the west it’s about the ass you ride!!
Thanks to Harry
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