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FUNNY FEBRUARY JOKES


28 February 2013
Question: What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pockets? 
Answer: Mute. 
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about nations

27 February 2013
Why do Italian men have mustaches? They want to look like their moms. 
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about nations

26 February 2013 
He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: I would rather have the money.
He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I am having a headache this weekend.
He: Go on. Don't be shy, ask me out.
She: Okay. Go out.
He: I think I could make you very happy?
She: Why? Are you leaving?
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about dating

25 February 2013
A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car.
"That is amazing" the employee was fascinated.
"That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".
More similar funny jokes: Daily life situations

24 February 2013
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT

23 February 2013
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
More similar funny jokes: Black humour

22 February 2013
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and
suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
More similar funny jokes: Daily life situations

21 February 2013 
Strange thing about women's brain, there's nothing right in left side, and nothing left on the right side
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about women

20 February 2013
Father-in-law is talking with his son-in-law:
- I don't understand why my daughter is living with you...
- Are you sure you want me to show it?

19 February 2013
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
More similar funny jokes: Chuck Norris jokes

18 February 2013
Three rules to live by:
1. Don't shop when you are hungry.
2. Don't date when you are horny.
3. Don't update your status when you are drunk.
More similar funny jokes in section Funny quotes

17 February 2013
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
More similar funny jokes in section Funny quotes

16 February 2013
Man returning with his wife from guests. Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife. But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?
More similar funny jokes: Daily  life situations

15 February 2013
Woman don't understand how a man with two kidneys may say that he can't afford to buy her a new fur coat...
More similar funny jokes: Relationship, marriage jokes

13 February 2013
Britney Spears was asked to model for Victoria Secret's latest Panty line. Everything was fine until she was told that she would actually have to wear one!
Thanks to Obaidur Rahman for this joke!
More similar funny jokes: brand/trademark jokes.


12 February 2013
Keyboard not found...
Press ENTER to continue...
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT

11 February 2013
Age is just a number, jail is just a room.
More similar funny jokes: daily life situations

10 February 2013
Grandma lived in one room poor flat. She was already planning to die, when decided to tell to grandchildren her testament. She invited all of them and told:
- Dear children, I leave you 7 billion in cash, 1000 of mines, 700 estates and much  more.
Grandchildren thought that grandma is already rambling, but one bolder grandson asked:
- Grandmother, and where are those treasures?
Grandma just smiled and answered:
- In Facebook, my dear, in facebook...
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT and Facebook jokes

9 February 2013
Man: what you have prepared to eat today?
Wife: nothing
Man: but you did nothing yesterday
Wife : I made it for two days.
Wife: what you was doing today?
Man: nothing 
Wife: Well, but you did nothing yesterday
Man: Haven't finished yet.
More similar funny jokes: Relationship, marriage jokes

8 February 2013
- Where are you going for vacation this year?
- I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
More similar funny jokes: daily life situations

7 February 2013
New Russian is showing his new home to his friend. They walk into the bath and the friend asks:
- And why the tiles are so small?
- Small, but good brand.
- And what brand it is?
- Intel.
More similar funny jokes: New Russian jokes

6 February 2013
Man and wife together is setting a new password on their computer.
Man enters "My_penis" and his wife fall on the floor laughing out loudly after computer answers: "Too short..."
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT

5 February 2013
Want to hear an interesting story? Send a message to your wife:
"I know everything, how could you?".
More similar funny jokes: Relationship, marriage jokes

4 February 2013
- Lady, have you been invited to dance?
- Oh, not yet. I'm free!
- Then please keep my beer...
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about dating

3 February 2013
Computer specialist is walking down the street when suddenly the brick fall down on his head.
- Stupid Tetris!- thinks computer specialist before losing consciousness.
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT

2 February 2013
Talking two computer specialists:
- What do you do when you see a beautiful girl? - Asks the first one.
- I download her.
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT

1 February 2013
Capacity of vodka in IT style:
0.10 l - demo version;
0.25 l - trial version;
0.50 l - personal edition;
0.70 l  - professional edition;
1.00 l - network edition;
1.75 l - enterprise;
3.00 l - for small business;
5.00 l - corporate edition;
Bucket of vodka - extreme edition;
Sea of vodka - global edition;
Homemade vodka - home edition;
"One more" - Service pack;
Kefir in the morning - Recovery tool;
Appetizer - plugins;
Beer - patch;
Coca-cola, fanta, 7-UP - trojan viruses.
More similar funny jokes: Jokes about IT
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