FUNNY JOKES JULY
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29 July 2013
Good sex is such when you even want to call your wife and tell her about it. More similar jokes in section Funny sayings 29 July 2013 An ideal man is the one who would say this when getting out of the car: ‘Darling, you are a wonderful driver and you parked the car perfectly. Ignore it, the Lexus was already scratched and the cat was dead. And we don’t need that pine tree at all.’ More similar jokes in section Jokes about women 27 July 2013 You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic. More similar jokes in section Funny sayings 25 July 2013 Where does Thursday come before Wednesday? In the dictionary. More similar jokes in section Funny sayings 23 July 2013 One morning a conservative business man came to work wearing an earring in one ear. His shocked employees were teasing him and one of them asked: "When did you start wearing an earring?" "Since my wife found this one in my car," the man replied. More similar jokes in section Jokes about men 21 July 2013 A man returned home and find his wife in bed with his best best friend. He took his gun, killed his friend and then asked his wife: "What you gonna say to me now?" The wife answered: "If you keep like that, you won't have any friends left soon." More similar jokes in section Jokes about men 19 July 2013 A man had been slipping in and out of coma for several months, but his wife stayed at him every single day. One day he finally opened his eyes and said to his wife: "You've been always with me through the bad times. When my business failed, you supported me. When I got fired, you were there. Also when I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost our house and my health started failing, you were still by my side. So you know what it means?" "What, my darling" his wife asked, smiling bravely. "I think you're really bad luck," the man said. More similar jokes in section Relationship, marriage jokes 17 July 2013 A man came home one evening and found his wife packing a suitcase. "Where are you going?" he asked. "I'm moving to Las Vegas," she answered. "I heard I can get there $400 for doing what I do with you." Man took his suitcase then and started packing his things. "And where are you going?" asked his wife. "Well," he replied, "I've to see how you manage to live on $800 per year." More similar jokes in category Marriage jokes 15 July 2013 A man was driving home when saw a guy jogging in the nude. He opened car window and asked the naked guy: "Why?" The guy answered: "Because you came home early!" More similar jokes in category Jokes about men 14 July 2013 Russian scientists have created their Mars robotic rover that steals samples from NASA's Curiosity. More similar jokes in category Nation jokes 13 July 2013 A woman comes to a psychologist and asks: - I have recently found out that my husband has a mistress. Should I tell that to him? - No need to do that, - tells the psychologist. - I bet he knows it. More similar jokes in category Relationship, marriage jokes 12 July 2013 A little boy asked his father one day: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "I don't know, son," the father replied. "I'm still paying." More similar jokes in category Relationship, marriage jokes 11 July 2013 A year after the wife's death the widower marries a sister of her. His friends asks: - Do you love her as much? - Not really, but knowing my age I would not dear to have another mother-in-law. More similar funny jokes: Mother in law jokes 10 July 2013 Three friends were arguing which of them had the better memory. The first man bragged, “I can remember the first day of first grade.” “Oh yeah?” the second man countered. “Well, I can remember my first day of nursery school.” “Hell, that’s nothing,” the third man said. “I can remember going to the dancing party with my father and coming home with my mother.” More similar jokes in category Jokes about men, husband 8 July 2013 A man visited his friend who was banging nails into the wall. However, he threw half of the nails away. "Why are you throwing half of them away?" asked the first man. "The heads are on the wrong end," answered the second. "Don't be stupid!" said the first. "Those are for the other side of the wall." More similar jokes in category Jokes about men, husband 7 July 2013 Two men were walking along the street when one stopped. "My goodness! There's my wife and my lover talking to each other!" "Good grief!" said the other. "I was going to say that!" More similar jokes in category Relationship, marriage jokes 6 July 2013 A primary school teacher was sitting on a bus. She was fairly sure that she recognized the man opposite her. "Excuse me," she said, "but are you the father of one of my children?" More similar jokes in section School jokes 5 July 2013 - Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen? - No, David. More similar jokes in Daily jokes 4 July 2013 Three Scotsmen were sitting in a bar together.- When I die,- said the old Scot, - I'd like one of you to pour a bottle of the best Scottish whisky over my grave." - We'll do that for you,- said one of the younger men. - But do you mind if it passes through our kidneys first? More similar funny jokes: Nation joke 3 July 2013 Men in Georgia wear golden necklaces only because they need to know where to stop when shaving off their beard. More similar funny jokes: Nation jokes 2 July 2013 Putin and Medvedev caught Viktor Yushchenko (Ukrainian President) and start spitroasting him over a fire. Medvedev is slowly turning Yushchenko, but Putin walks around angry and impatiently. Finally he says: - Give it to me, you are turning him to slowly. - You have to make it slow, if you want to have it perfectly roasted. - But when you do it slow, he keeps stealing our coal. More similar funny jokes: Political jokes 1 July 2013 An elderly man remembers the good old days: “when I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras. More similar funny jokes: Business jokes FIND OUT PREVIOUS JOKES OF THE DAY: |
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