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ONE LINER JOKES

One liner jokes - these are short funny jokes that fit in a single line. It can be a short saying, funny statement or opinion, famous funny quote taht you can apply in your daily life situations. Various comedians and people, who want to make fun, use one liners, to make unexpected story moves and provoke laughter. 
"Funny Jokes Quote" advise you to read through the funny one liners below and remember a few of them to bring jokes and laughter to the new spaces, where fun is needed!

Best One Liner jokes

One-liner jokes - A man sank
A man sank in a pond despite the fact that he was a Pisces (according to horoscope) and total shit (as a man).

One-liner jokes - Life
Life keeps fucking you, but with no orgasm. 

One-liner jokes - The good
The good is when you do bad things for bad people.

One liner jokes - Neighbor
My neighbor is a real Genie. Whenever I open a bottle, he comes to me.

One-liner jokes - She
She was so ugly, but we had no vodka left…

One-liner jokes - Today
I do not have enough middle fingers for today.

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It's very difficult to be dumb these days. The competition is simly too big.

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Alcohol does not solve problems. But neither does milk.

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Jesus has changed your life. Do you want to save changes (Yes/No)?

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Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.

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Shut up when you are talking to me...

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The more I know people, the more I start prefering dogs.

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Do you want to speak or did you cough accidentally?

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Moses has been guiding his people through the desert for 40 years. Looks like even at those times men were unwilling to ask for directions.

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When you break the law, you pay fines, but when you don't - you pay taxes.

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You can treat yourself as a successful person if the cognac you drink is older than the woman you sleep with.

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There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 cans in a box of beer. Do you still think that's a coincidence? 

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There TWO ways to control your woman. But nobody knows them.

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There are only two types of pedestrians - fast ones and dead ones.

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Life is like a toilet paper - it's so long and constantly goes to your asswhole 

I bought a globe so I could spit on the whole World.

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If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason.

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I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.

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I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

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I tried looking at the bright side of life. It hurt my eyes.

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Don't condemn nudists - they were born like this.

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Very often the phrase “Ooops, sorry, I have forgotten“ really means “Gosh, this asshole remembers it”.

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Driver has either to drink, or to drive. There is no third way!

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Advice: If you want to avoid snoozing your alarm clock, put a mousetrap on it.

Check more funny one liners here.

CHECK WHAT IS A JOKE OF THE DAY TODAY!


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