Funny Jokes & Quotes
  • Joke of the Day
    • Funny Jokes July 2013
    • Funny Jokes June 2013
    • Funny Jokes May 2013
    • Funny Jokes April 2013
    • Funny Jokes March 2013
    • Funny Jokes February 2013
    • Funny Jokes January 2013
    • Funny Jokes December 2012
    • Funny Jokes November 2012
    • Funny Jokes October 2012
  • Valentines Day jokes
  • Best jokes 2013
  • TOP 10 jokes
  • Absurd jokes
  • Adult jokes
    • Jokes for adults
    • Funny adults jokes
    • Funny jokes adults
  • Animal jokes
  • Black jokes
  • Blonde jokes
  • Brand/Trademark jokes
  • Business jokes
  • Car jokes
  • Chuck Norris jokes
  • Daily life situations
  • Dirty jokes
  • Christmas jokes
  • Funny Christmas jokes
  • Funny Halloween jokes
  • Funny facts
  • Funny ideas for sms
  • Funny quotes
  • Funny sayings
  • Funny Tweets
  • Great blonde jokes
  • Jokes about IT
    • Microsoft jokes
    • Faceboook jokes
    • Google jokes
  • Jokes about men, husband
  • Jokes about women, wife
  • Kid's corner
  • Nation jokes
    • New Russian jokes
  • One-liner jokes
  • Profession jokes
    • Fisherman jokes
    • Medical jokes
    • Political jokes
    • Sport jokes
  • Relationship, marriage jokes
    • Jokes about dating
    • Jokes about parents
    • Mother-in-law jokes
  • Funny sex jokes
  • School & student jokes
  • Yo Mama jokes
  • Submit a joke
  • Contact us
  • Cookie Policy

FUNNY SAYINGS


Funny sayings - ect.
etc. - end of thinking capacity

Funny sayings - Work

WHY whenever I sit down to work, someone wakes me up?

Funny sayings - Salute
My middle finger salutes you!

Funny sayings - A man
A man is the only living being, who is able have sex by phone.
Funny sayings - Meaning of a moneybag
A bag of money is a symbol of richness. Or enormous inflation.

Funny sayings - Friends
You cannot buy friends. That’s absolutely true. But you can sell them quite profitably…

Funny sayings – Fixed line
Nowadays you need a fixed telephone line only to find your smartphone.

Funny sayings - An adult
You cannot treat yourself as an adult if your photos from school are in digital format.

Funny sayings - Drinking
Alcohol kills brain cells. But not all of them – only those, which refuse to drink.

Funny sayings - Products
Most of the products in shopping malls can be categorized into one of the two: trash bags or trash for bags.

Funny sayings - Work
I don’t mind going to work but this 8 hour wait to go home is bullshit.

Funny sayings - Jewish wisdom
Jewish wisdom says: If there is a problem that can be fixed with money, it is not a problem, it's the costs.

Funny sayings - Shower

I don't sing in the shower. I perform.

Funny sayings - Goddess
While driving, I feel like a goddess, I drive, others pray.
Funny sayings - Phone call
You need to call woman twice. First time that she could find the phone in her 
bag, second - to answer.

Funny sayings - One wise man said

Dear women, please stop losing weight. We'll lie on the boards in the coffins.

Funny sayings - Love
Love.
no. I prefer vodka.

Funny sayings - Enemy
Forgive your enemy, but remember his name.

Funny sayings - Help in trouble
Help a woman when she is in trouble and she will remember you when she will be in trouble again.

Funny sayings - Alive
Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them.

Funny sayings - Alcohol
Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does milk.
Funny sayings - Smoking
Smoking kills, but if you don't smoke, that still doesn't mean you'll never die.

Funny sayings - Happy woman

It's easy to make woman happy. But expensive.

Funny sayings - Cheaper

Beer is now cheaper than fuel. Drink, don't drive.

Funny sayings - Mathematic facts
Smoking a cigarette reduces life by 5 minutes.
Laughing increases life by 10 minutes.
Conclusion: a laughing smoker never dies.
Funny sayings - My Wallet
My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry...

Funny sayings - Tears
When a girl cries for you - don't be too emotional. Those tears are like a loan - you will have to pay it back with great interest.

Funny sayings - Alcohol
Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.

Funny sayings - Average
The average woman would better choose to be beautifull than to have brains, cause the average man can see better than he thinks.

Funny sayings - Tampon

Today I feel like a tampon, in the right place at the wrong time.

Funny sayings - Women
Women spend their whole life to find the right man just to tell him everyday that he is wrong.

Funny sayings - Drinking
I know my drinking limits. The problem is that I can never reach them – I simply fall down.

Funny sayings - Unicorn

Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
Funny sayings - Number
Age is just a number, jail is just a room.

Funny sayings - Waiting
If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer...

Funny sayings - Fat people
Fat people live shorter, but eat longer.

Funny sayings - Money
I don't get exited by money, they soothe me.

Funny sayings - Advice
Take my advice. I don't use it anyway.
Funny sayings - Talent
Talent is like an orgasm – it’s difficult both to hide and to pretend it.

Funny sayings - Spring
Don't worry if the spring came late. Scientists tell that this may happen before every ice-age.

Funny sayings - Wisdom of life
1.Ladies first, pretty ladies sooner.
2.He who laughs last got the joke late.
3.You can give your friends everything, but not gonorrhea.

Funny sayings - X-rays
Some people's x-rays are better than their photos.
For more funny sayings we recommend you to visit www.funnysayings.eu
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.