FUNNY BLONDE JOKES
Know a good blonde joke? Share it with us here.
Blonde jokes - Memories
From the memories of a blonde: The first minutes of pregnancy were just wonderful…
Kitchen light
A blonde tells to another blonde:
- Do you know where the light from the kitchen goes when you turn it off?
- No
The blonde takes another blonde to the fridge and says: HERE.
Stuck in elevator
Once two blondes and a brunette got stuck in the elevator.
One blonde starts to shout:
- Help!!!
The other one:
- Help!!!
A brunette brings in an advice:
- Girls, shout together, it will be louder.
The blondes shout:
- Together!!! Together!!!...
Leaves
A blonde was raking the leaves and fell off the tree.
Waiting
Question: Do you know what a blonde is waiting for at the socket?
Answer: for an e-mail.
From the memories of a blonde: The first minutes of pregnancy were just wonderful…
Kitchen light
A blonde tells to another blonde:
- Do you know where the light from the kitchen goes when you turn it off?
- No
The blonde takes another blonde to the fridge and says: HERE.
Stuck in elevator
Once two blondes and a brunette got stuck in the elevator.
One blonde starts to shout:
- Help!!!
The other one:
- Help!!!
A brunette brings in an advice:
- Girls, shout together, it will be louder.
The blondes shout:
- Together!!! Together!!!...
Leaves
A blonde was raking the leaves and fell off the tree.
Waiting
Question: Do you know what a blonde is waiting for at the socket?
Answer: for an e-mail.
Driving in a car
A blonde and a brunette are driving in a car. Unexpectedly the car stops. The blonde asks:
- What has happened?
- We ran out of petrol, - answers the brunette.
The blonde replies with a relief:
- Wow, you know so much about cars. If it was me, who was driving, I wouldn’t have had an idea to stop.
Cheating
Two blondes talk. One of them says:
- You know, I have cheated a taxi driver yesterday!!
Another asks:
- How did you do this?
The blonde replies:
- I paid, but I didn’t sit in.
Marry
How to make a blonde marry you? Tell her that she’s pregnant…
Real story
Two blondes talk:
- Listen, your hair look like a wig.
- But it is a wig.
- So cool, and it looks like real hair.
You never know
Two blondes talk:
- Did you know that this time the New Year will be on Friday?
- Really, I hope it won’t be on 13th.
Funny jokes about blondes - the other side
A blonde asks a bypasser:
- Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is?
- It's on the other side.
- Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...
Funny jokes about blondes - In the hospital
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains:
- Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts...
- I know what has happened to you.
- And what?
- You've broken your finger.
A blonde and a brunette are driving in a car. Unexpectedly the car stops. The blonde asks:
- What has happened?
- We ran out of petrol, - answers the brunette.
The blonde replies with a relief:
- Wow, you know so much about cars. If it was me, who was driving, I wouldn’t have had an idea to stop.
Cheating
Two blondes talk. One of them says:
- You know, I have cheated a taxi driver yesterday!!
Another asks:
- How did you do this?
The blonde replies:
- I paid, but I didn’t sit in.
Marry
How to make a blonde marry you? Tell her that she’s pregnant…
Real story
Two blondes talk:
- Listen, your hair look like a wig.
- But it is a wig.
- So cool, and it looks like real hair.
You never know
Two blondes talk:
- Did you know that this time the New Year will be on Friday?
- Really, I hope it won’t be on 13th.
Funny jokes about blondes - the other side
A blonde asks a bypasser:
- Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is?
- It's on the other side.
- Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...
Funny jokes about blondes - In the hospital
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains:
- Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts...
- I know what has happened to you.
- And what?
- You've broken your finger.
Funny blonde jokes - at the edge of a hill
A brunette, a red-haired and a blonde comes to an edge of a hill. The rule is: if you lie, you fall off the hill.
A brunette says: - I think I'm the most beautiful... And she falls off the hill.
A red-haired says: - I think I'm the most clever... And she falls off the hill.
A blonde says: I think... And she falls off the hill.
Funny blonde jokes - Together
Two blondes go into a toilet and they both got locked in.
The first shouts:
- Help, help!
The second one suggests:
- Let's shout together.
Now they both shout:
- Together, together...
Funny blonde jokes - Occupation
How can you keep a blonde girl interested for hours:
Give her a sheet of paper and write on both sides: "Look on the other side".
Funny blonde jokes - Driving test
A blonde comes to driving practice test. She gets into the car and immediately the instructor says:
- You have failed.
Blonde:
- But why, I have just got into the car.
Instructor:
- Yes, but you sat on the back seat.
Funny blonde jokes - Swimming
There were three people stranded on an island: a brunette, a redhead and a
blonde. The brunette looked over the water to mainland and estimated about 20
miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she
swam out 5 miles, and got really tired. She swam out 10 miles from the island,
and she was so tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stayed here and starve." So she attempts to swim out.
The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she was so tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too. "So she swan out 5 miles,10 miles,15 miles, and finally 19 miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on! "So she swam back.
Funny blonde jokes - A microwave
A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Damn, he recognized me, " she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Funny blonde jokes - Vibrator
Two blondes talk:
- Have you tried with the vibrator?
- Not yet.
- And better do not try. My all teeth wobble...
Funny blonde jokes - Spots
A blonde went to a doctor and complained, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”
The physician scratched his head, “Have you seen an ophthalmologist?”
“No,” she said, “just spots.”
Funny blonde jokes - Logics
Two blondes sail with the boat. Suddenly, the hole appeared in the boat. The first blonde starts to panic, and another says: - Do not worry, I'll make a second hole through which the water will run out.
A brunette, a red-haired and a blonde comes to an edge of a hill. The rule is: if you lie, you fall off the hill.
A brunette says: - I think I'm the most beautiful... And she falls off the hill.
A red-haired says: - I think I'm the most clever... And she falls off the hill.
A blonde says: I think... And she falls off the hill.
Funny blonde jokes - Together
Two blondes go into a toilet and they both got locked in.
The first shouts:
- Help, help!
The second one suggests:
- Let's shout together.
Now they both shout:
- Together, together...
Funny blonde jokes - Occupation
How can you keep a blonde girl interested for hours:
Give her a sheet of paper and write on both sides: "Look on the other side".
Funny blonde jokes - Driving test
A blonde comes to driving practice test. She gets into the car and immediately the instructor says:
- You have failed.
Blonde:
- But why, I have just got into the car.
Instructor:
- Yes, but you sat on the back seat.
Funny blonde jokes - Swimming
There were three people stranded on an island: a brunette, a redhead and a
blonde. The brunette looked over the water to mainland and estimated about 20
miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she
swam out 5 miles, and got really tired. She swam out 10 miles from the island,
and she was so tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stayed here and starve." So she attempts to swim out.
The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she was so tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too. "So she swan out 5 miles,10 miles,15 miles, and finally 19 miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on! "So she swam back.
Funny blonde jokes - A microwave
A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Damn, he recognized me, " she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Funny blonde jokes - Vibrator
Two blondes talk:
- Have you tried with the vibrator?
- Not yet.
- And better do not try. My all teeth wobble...
Funny blonde jokes - Spots
A blonde went to a doctor and complained, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”
The physician scratched his head, “Have you seen an ophthalmologist?”
“No,” she said, “just spots.”
Funny blonde jokes - Logics
Two blondes sail with the boat. Suddenly, the hole appeared in the boat. The first blonde starts to panic, and another says: - Do not worry, I'll make a second hole through which the water will run out.
CHECK WHAT IS A JOKE OF THE DAY TODAY!
ABOUT BLONDE JOKES
This is one of the stereotyope jokes. It is presumed that blondes are stupid, have no brains, in other words, they have beans instead of their brains. What would happen to a blonde, if you cut the thread in her head? Her ears would fell off. Such stereotypes are the basis to showcase how stupid a person can be, and these stereotypes are deeply rooted in blonde jokes.
Stupid blondes are a very strong and popular character in jokes search on Google. They are so popular, that jokes about blondes go to our real life as well.
For more funny jokes about blondes please visit the Great blonde jokes page.
Stupid blondes are a very strong and popular character in jokes search on Google. They are so popular, that jokes about blondes go to our real life as well.
For more funny jokes about blondes please visit the Great blonde jokes page.