Valentine’s Day jokesIf you want you Valentine’s Day to be funny, here are some great Valentine’s day jokes. You will also find funny jokes about love, relationship, marriage life.
St. Valentine's Day is the only fest in the year, after which you feel not the headache.. An evening of Valentine’s Day. A man comes to a drug store: - Good evening! - Sorry, we are sold out... |
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- Lisa, why are you so angry with me?
- Because I’m Christine.
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.'
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.' Happy February 14th!
- Does she have a boyfriend?
- Yes, a cute, strong and clever one.
- What’s the name?
- John, Michael and Bill.
- Because I’m Christine.
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.'
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.' Happy February 14th!
- Does she have a boyfriend?
- Yes, a cute, strong and clever one.
- What’s the name?
- John, Michael and Bill.
Girls are two types - the ones, who hate February 14th, and the ones, who have a boyfriend.
Saint Valentine is the guardian of the salespeople of cosmetics, perfume, underwear and chocolate.
Two friends talk:
- Hi, what are you doing?
- Not much, writing a Valentine’s Day greeting card.
- Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?
- No, I just can’t let my right hand to see it. It’s a surprise for it.
A wife tells her husband:
- We never go out anywhere…
- Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:
- What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day?
- Well, I don’t know, – she answers shyly.
- OK, that I give you another year to think about it…
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: „It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved …“
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series:
- Look, how much he loves her…
- Yes. But do you know how much he’s being paid for that?
Daughter:
- That’s it! I’ll mary Arthur!
Mother:
- But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker! ! !
Father:
- But you have to start with something!
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine’s Day.
A wife returns late at night back home.
- Where have you been?! – asks her husband.
- With a friend. But don’t worry, there were no men.
One day later the husband returns back home late.
- Don’t worry; I was also with a friend. And there were no men either…
An advertisement:
I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
Conversation at the college:
I’m sorry, I can't be your Valentine for medical reasons, - tells a girl.
Boy: Really?
- Yeah, you make me sick...
What did Salvador Dali say to his girlfriend?
"I love you with all my art!"
How do you wish Happy Valentine’s Day for a single?
Happy Independence Day
What is the difference between a calendar and you?
A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.
What do you call a very small Valentine? A Valentiny!
Did you know that the actual purpose of Valentine's Day is to remind and tease single people they are single.
Do you have a date for this year’s Valentines Day? Yes, February 14th.
British scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive on Valentines Day by 90 percent.... Wedding cake.
Saint Valentine is the guardian of the salespeople of cosmetics, perfume, underwear and chocolate.
Two friends talk:
- Hi, what are you doing?
- Not much, writing a Valentine’s Day greeting card.
- Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?
- No, I just can’t let my right hand to see it. It’s a surprise for it.
A wife tells her husband:
- We never go out anywhere…
- Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:
- What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day?
- Well, I don’t know, – she answers shyly.
- OK, that I give you another year to think about it…
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: „It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved …“
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series:
- Look, how much he loves her…
- Yes. But do you know how much he’s being paid for that?
Daughter:
- That’s it! I’ll mary Arthur!
Mother:
- But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker! ! !
Father:
- But you have to start with something!
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine’s Day.
A wife returns late at night back home.
- Where have you been?! – asks her husband.
- With a friend. But don’t worry, there were no men.
One day later the husband returns back home late.
- Don’t worry; I was also with a friend. And there were no men either…
An advertisement:
I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
Conversation at the college:
I’m sorry, I can't be your Valentine for medical reasons, - tells a girl.
Boy: Really?
- Yeah, you make me sick...
What did Salvador Dali say to his girlfriend?
"I love you with all my art!"
How do you wish Happy Valentine’s Day for a single?
Happy Independence Day
What is the difference between a calendar and you?
A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.
What do you call a very small Valentine? A Valentiny!
Did you know that the actual purpose of Valentine's Day is to remind and tease single people they are single.
Do you have a date for this year’s Valentines Day? Yes, February 14th.
British scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive on Valentines Day by 90 percent.... Wedding cake.
For more similar jokes you may also visit the following pages of funny jokes website:
Jokes about dating
Jokes about men, husband
Jokes about women, wife
If you know some good Valentine’s Day jokes, we encourage you to share it with us. You can do that on a submit a funny joke form.
Jokes about dating
Jokes about men, husband
Jokes about women, wife
If you know some good Valentine’s Day jokes, we encourage you to share it with us. You can do that on a submit a funny joke form.
