FUNNY INTERNET AND COMPUTER JOKES
Funny jokes about IT
A conversation by a representative of a personnel search company and a candidate:
- So, Mr. Abha, you say that you are a software engineer. Do you know Microsoft Office?
- If you give me the address, I will go there, Sir.
Jokes about IT - Active life
I was once living very actively - playing football, tennis, participating into car races. Sometimes I would play poker and pool. But later somebody stole my PC and that was it...
Jokes about IT – Forum’s rules
Internet forum rules:
2. Ask something
3. Get banned
4. Go & Google it
Funny jokes about IT - A programmer goes to a shop
A wife sends her husband - an IT programmer - to the shop to buy a sausage.
- If there will be brown eggs, take 10.
A programmer goes to the shop and asks the seller:
- Do you have brown eggs?
- Yes we do.
- Then give me 10 sausages.
Funny jokes about IT - Life
- You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts...
- Man, and do you have life?
- OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
Funny jokes about IT - In the toilet
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
- Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
- What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
- No, restart the router, please!
Funny jokes about IT - sms (text) messages
Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Funny jokes about IT - Google facts
Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected.
Funny jokes about IT - Broke my heart
A guy tells his friends:
- The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
Jokes about IT - Frozen windows
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Jokes about IT - Keyboard
Keyboard not found...
Press ENTER to continue...
Jokes about IT - Password
Man and wife together is setting a new password on their computer.
Man enters "My_penis" and his wife fall on the floor laughing out loudly after computer answers: "Too short..."
Jokes about IT - Tetris
Computer specialist is walking down the street when suddenly the brick fall down on his head.
- Stupid Tetris!- thinks computer specialist before losing consciousness.
Jokes about IT - Beautiful girl
Talking two computer specialists:
- What do you do when you see a beautiful girl? - Asks the first one.
- I download her.
Jokes about IT - Vodka and IT
Capacity of vodka in IT style:
0.10 l - demo version;
0.25 l - trial version;
0.50 l - personal edition;
0.70 l - professional edition;
1.00 l - network edition;
1.75 l - enterprise;
3.00 l - for small business;
5.00 l - corporate edition;
Bucket of vodka - extreme edition;
Sea of vodka - global edition;
Homemade vodka - home edition;
"One more" - Service pack;
Kefir in the morning - Recovery tool;
Appetizer - plugins;
Beer - patch;
Coca-cola, fanta, 7-UP - trojan viruses.
Jokes about IT - IT specialist
Who is IT specialist?
The person who solves a problem you didn't know you had and in a way you don't understand.
Jokes about IT - Samsung computers
Sales representative of Samsung computer department tries to persuade an officer of a Russian city municipality to purchase computers:
- Don't worry, computers will never substitute officers: no company has yet created a machine that would do nothing.
Jokes about IT - Price drop
At computer shop the staff is changing laptops prices from 4000$ to 2000$.
A man passes through and asks:
- Tell me, why they are getting so much cheaper?
- Because Christmas sales is over!
Jokes about IT - Empty
You don‘t truly know your car until you know exactly how far you can go, after the gas gauge needle passes the E (Emtpy).
Jokes about IT - A command
A guy prepares to demonstrate voice control of a computer.
- Silence, please, I will now demonstrate how easy voice control works.
A man from the back of the room:
- Format: C. Enter.
Jokes about IT - Query
- What a freaky query - thought the database and stopped working.
Jokes about IT - Operating system
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:
- I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..
- I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?
- Of course I do - it's Facebook...
CHECK WHAT IS A JOKE OF THE DAY TODAY!