FUNNY APRIL JOKES
|
30 April 2013
Flight Control Center asks the pilot: -Who is landing here? The pilot decides to make a joke: - Guess who, - he asks Flight Control Center turns off the lighting of the landing track and tells: - Guess where.. More similar funny jokes: Profession jokes 29 April 2013 Interview with a successful businessman: - Tell me, how many people work in your company? - Hmm... Approximately half. More similar funny jokes you can find in Business jokes 28 April 2013 Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you. More similar funny jokes in sections Dirty jokes or Funny sex jokes 27 April 2013 Woman standing in front of the mirror complains to her husband: - I look ugly. At least you tell me any compliment! - Your vision is perfect! More similar funny jokes: Relationship, marriage jokes 26 April 2013 Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops. More similar funny jokes: Relationship, marriage jokes 25 April 2013 My middle finger salutes you! More similar funny jokes: Funny sayings 24 April 2013 1.Ladies first, pretty ladies sooner. 2.He who laughs last got the joke late. 3.You can give your friends everything, but not gonorrhea. Thanks Mikhail Mike for sharing this joke with us! More similar funny jokes: Funny sayings 23 April 2013 Some people's x-rays are better than their photos. Thanks Charles Tatenda for sharing this joke with us! More similar funny jokes: Funny sayings 22 April 2013 I don’t mind going to work but this 8 hour wait to go home is bullshit. More similar funny jokes: Funny sayings 21 April 2013 In the morning Tom calls to his boss: - Good morning, boss, unfortunately I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my both hands and legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work." The boss replies: - You know Tom, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that. 2 hours later Bob calls: - Boss, I followed your advise, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house. More similar funny jokes: Adult jokes 20 April 2013 One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father: - Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality? Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question: - Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $? - Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife Daddy turns to his teenage daughter: - Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $? - Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room. Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks: - Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $! Eldest son thinks a little and replies: - Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep. Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him: - You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay… More similar funny jokes: Adult jokes 19 April 2013 Selection of candidates takes place at U.S. Secret Service. The first applicant comes and stands in front of the Commission. The Chairman asks: - Sir, our service is extremely secret, thus the agent has to be strong-willed, obey to laws, be cold-blooded. - I completely understand this, Sir. - Great, but we will have to check this. We have brought here your wife as well, she is sitting in the next room. Please, take the gun, go there, and shoot her dead. - No, sorry, I won’t do that. I don’t need this job. The second applicant comes in. The Chairman again explains him the whole situation and tells him to go and shoot his wife to death. The applicant says: - No, I won’t do that. The third applicant comes and the Chairman again explains him the rules. The candidate takes the gun and leaves to the other room. All members of the Commission are waiting for what will happen. Suddenly they hear a gunshot, than the second, third, the fourth. Then the fifth and the sixth. Than they hear the woman screaming. The doors open, the third candidate goes out and tells: - Listen, Boss, somebody has put a blank cartridge. So I finished her with the butt of the gun… More Similar funny jokes: Profession jokes 18 April 2013 Dentist: - Don’t worry, it will take me only a minute to pull your tooth out. Patient: - And how much will it cost me? - 100$. - For a 1 minute job?! - If you prefer, I can be pulling it out for one hour... More similar funny jokes: Funny medical jokes 17 April 2013 Jewish wisdom says: If there is a problem that can be fixed with money, it is not a problem, it's the costs. More similar funny jokes in sections Funny sayings 16 April 2013 Men are clever - the idea of "ladies first'' is for them to look at the ass.---Thanks Chipy Shimbulu for this great joke!--- More similar funny jokes in sections Jokes about man, husband 15 April 2013 - You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... - Man, and do you have life? - OMG, No! Could you send me a link? More similar funny jokes in sections Jokes about IT 14 April 2013 Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? You're dead, if the rubber breaks. More similar funny jokes in section Adult jokes 13 April 2013 A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them. The Chief comes up to him and asks: - What do you want for your first wish? - I want talk to my horse, - replies the cowboy. The Chief allows him to talk to the horse. The cowboy whispers in its ear. The horse neighs, rears back, and takes off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse comes back with a naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians are very impressed, so they let the cowboy use one of their teepees. A little while later, the cowboy stumbles out of the teepee, tucking in his shirt. The Chief asks him once again: - What do you want for your second wish? - I want to talk to my horse, - once again replies the cowboy. Again, the cowboy whispers in the horse’s ear. The horse neighs, rears back, and takes off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse comes back with another naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians are very impressed indeed. So, once again, they let the cowboy use one of their teepees. The cowboy stumbles out a little while later. The chief comes up to the cowboy and asks: - So, what do you want for your last third wish? - I want to talk to my horse, - for the third time replies the cowboy. He grabs the horse by the ears and yells @ it: - You stupid animal, I said POSSE, POSSE not PUSSY!!! More similar funny jokes in the section: Adult jokes 12 April 2013 If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason. More similar funny jokes in section Jokes from daily life situations 11 April 2013 I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew it. More similar funny jokes in section Jokes from daily life situations 10 April 2013 Love. no. I prefer vodka. More similar funny jokes: Funny sayings 9 April 2013 A grandson asks his grandma: - Hey grandma, haven't you seen my LSD tabs? Grandma replies: - Forget those tabs. Have you seen that dragoon in the kitchen? More similar funny jokes in section Medical jokes 8 April 2013 Doggy style (noun) A sexual position which allows both participants to watch TV. More similar funny jokes in section Funny sex jokes 7 April 2013 I don't do drugs. I am drugs. Salvador Dali More similar funny jokes in section Funny quotes 5 April 2013 Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. More similar funny jokes: Funny sayings 4 April 2013 What goes after 69? Mouthwash. More similar funny jokes: Dirty jokes or Funny sex jokes 3 April 2013 I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all. Coco Chanel More similar funny jokes in section Funny quotes 2 April 2013 I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine. Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?" He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me motherfucker". Thanks Obaidur Rahman for this joke More similar funny jokes: Dirty jokes 1 April 2013 Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot? Answer: a creature that talks your ear off. Thanks Susan Pugh for this joke! More similar funny jokes: Animal jokes |
|
